go easier on yourself with these three magic words
“THAT MAKES SENSE”
Picture this scene: You feel like you’re drowning in to-do lists, tasks, and unread emails, and you’re burning the candle at both ends trying to just keep up.
Instead of telling yourself, “I cannot handle life right now. I should be able to manage all of this better!”
Try out, “I am so overwhelmed right now, and that makes sense because there’s so much pressure on me right now. I have a lot of commitments right now, and I haven’t had the opportunity to sleep well on top of that. It makes sense that I’m feeling overwhelmed. Anyone would be feeling overwhelmed in this situation. I’m doing enough.”
Here's another one: You’ve been at home alone all day with your baby, who’s been fussy today because teething? Growth spurt? Just baby being a baby? Who knows. You’re touched out, desperate for a break, and feel like you want to scream, so you put baby in her crib and walk into another room.
Instead of, “I’m such a bad mom for just putting her in her crib and leaving the room.”
Try out, “I need a break, and that makes sense because I’m a human being - the crying has been a lot today. My system is flooded and needs a little space to decompress. Baby is safe in her crib, and I’m taking a breather. Every parent needs a breather sometimes.”
Think of all the times someone you love has vented to you and you validated them with something like, “Of course you feel that way!”
Of course. It makes sense!
When we give ourselves permission to just be however we are in the moment, we let ourselves be humans just like everyone else (gasp!). We let ourselves know that, when a tough emotion or thought comes up, there's not necessarily anything wrong with it and we don't have to do anything to fix it or make it go away.
If you're looking for something to do in these moments (and let's be honest - we are doers here), here's what you can do: Ask yourself, “What do I need that I can give myself right now?” A breather? A quick brainflow? Help from your people? A walk around the block? 20 minutes of HGTV? A snack and a glass of water?
Every emotion is a tunnel, and when we simply let it be, we'll move right on through it. (And, psst: If “simply letting it be” sound excruciating because you want to be able to FIX it? That makes sense, too.)
